My wife and I spent the last week in San Francisco. The time there had opposite effects: On one hand, it made it even more clear why moving to Spain is the right thing to do from a quality of life standpoint. On the other, it triggered the first real bit of emotional tension I have had when I consider the prospects of setting up life in a not only foreign, but faraway land.
Good to here you are making the move to spain. I understand leaving a daughter can be tough but it opens options for her too. I too am leaving the USA for spain. Also leaving behind two daughters and a beautiful sheep farm outside of Seattle. Hate to leave but it's feeling more right as the months pass. Honestly, It's gonna be a transition of a year or two. Not instant. And if it were just me i could stay and insulate myself from the American thuggery. But I have young kids to consider so am doing it for them. Good luck and hope to see you on the beautiful Valencian coast some time.
Even here, in flyover country, the warnings are ringer louder & louder than it's time to start plotting our escape. I need to be somewhere where the social safety net, collective good, and infrastructure are a priority and not something to be sneered at.
Lovely commentary, Rocco. From far away in Switzerland, I’d support the San Francisco better than Los Angeles mantra based on what little I know.
That distance to the kids, that is something that weighs on our minds as we think we will be in South Africa next year. An overnight flight away from both our kids who are still in Switzerland.
You can do some small things for them to stay connected. When our daughter moved out and into a shared apartment in town here in Zurich, we decided that as parents we would sponsor their coffee supplies. They are not into the Nespresso stuff and wanted to make their own from beans to coffee. So we sponsored, a subscription service sending them coffee beans every 10 days or so.
Something small like that will be a way for your daughter to remember that you are still a little in touch.
That alone of course is not enough. We will have to think of some way to keep these connections open. I’m sure we can exchange views on that topic a little more.
Definitely makes sense and resonates. I do things like this to help bridge the distance living just a few hundred miles apart.
I guess the crux of it is that watching the cat doesn't seem like a big deal. But it was important to her to have the cat well taken care of. And it felt good to be able to do that. Even though we barely saw her. Little things like that (and the coffee subscription) matter to me way more than big displays (here's a down payment on a house now have a baby) and they're what I can do anyway.
Ultimately it goes back to doing everything you can reasonably do from the perch that best suits you. She'll continue making her decisions for how to live her best life and I'll do likewise. A big and not so bad reality of life and getting older, be it at 20 or (soon to be) 49.
Wow could relate to this as well. I lived in SF for 13 years , loved it for about ten years and honestly couldn't wait to leave after that (fried on the big city even then:) I got to work in some amazing ad agencies I wouldn't have been able to otherwise but once I did that and got those years of experience under my belt the city didn't hold much for me and I craved a simpler life with not so much congestion. I'm glad you found it better when you visited, when I was there last year I thought it was pretty rough in SF. Still have the great restaurants that keep people coming back, but honestly other than that and some friends still there I have zero desire to return to SF.
Here in Spain, shopping for a future. We drank beers with tapas for 2.70 euros last night while watching our kids play with other children in town center until midnight. Quite normal and healthy here. A truly human centric lifestyle vs a corporate friendly lifestyle. Ease of living must also come with purpose. American purpose is driven by survival. Spanish purpose is eroded by lack therof. Heaven forbid we have the grace of money and time to truly develop our interests.
I don't have kids. But I did move away from my parents when I turned 18. There were many times we couldn't visit back and forth. I loved across the country from them for most of our lives. But we did things that made up for it. For years my dad made sure I had boxes of Florida ruby red grapefruit sent during high citrus season. I sent them boxes of Ethyl M chocolates (the one's that had liquor inside), and of course we sent packages and cards back and forth several times a year. They came to visit when they could and I tried to do the same. We also kept in touch by snail mail and telephone.
I know it's tough to leave family behind. You all have (hopefully) long lives ahead of you and you never know what the future holds. I liked this piece a lot. I'm sick about Los Angeles now, though... but happy San Fransisco still has a shred of decency left. What a mess.
It really is a mess. And nothing is being done. The walk along the main drag nearest our apartment is simply disgusting. And every main drag from through and beyond Hollywood. If you head south instead, it's generally "nice" unless you go too far south. Yes, mess is a good way to describe it.
Al menos, in San Francisco, the streets feel generally inviting.
I hope to find out soon. (San Fransisco, not Los Angeles, I want to remember how LA used to be when I spent my Las Vegas year going on my two days off, I loved the vibes back then.) On the other hand I can't wait to get back to San Fransisco to get my feel-good back. (Pronto)
Good to here you are making the move to spain. I understand leaving a daughter can be tough but it opens options for her too. I too am leaving the USA for spain. Also leaving behind two daughters and a beautiful sheep farm outside of Seattle. Hate to leave but it's feeling more right as the months pass. Honestly, It's gonna be a transition of a year or two. Not instant. And if it were just me i could stay and insulate myself from the American thuggery. But I have young kids to consider so am doing it for them. Good luck and hope to see you on the beautiful Valencian coast some time.
I appreciate it. So well-stated. I agree 100%. And the opening options for your kids is no small point.
Even here, in flyover country, the warnings are ringer louder & louder than it's time to start plotting our escape. I need to be somewhere where the social safety net, collective good, and infrastructure are a priority and not something to be sneered at.
Lovely commentary, Rocco. From far away in Switzerland, I’d support the San Francisco better than Los Angeles mantra based on what little I know.
That distance to the kids, that is something that weighs on our minds as we think we will be in South Africa next year. An overnight flight away from both our kids who are still in Switzerland.
You can do some small things for them to stay connected. When our daughter moved out and into a shared apartment in town here in Zurich, we decided that as parents we would sponsor their coffee supplies. They are not into the Nespresso stuff and wanted to make their own from beans to coffee. So we sponsored, a subscription service sending them coffee beans every 10 days or so.
Something small like that will be a way for your daughter to remember that you are still a little in touch.
That alone of course is not enough. We will have to think of some way to keep these connections open. I’m sure we can exchange views on that topic a little more.
Definitely makes sense and resonates. I do things like this to help bridge the distance living just a few hundred miles apart.
I guess the crux of it is that watching the cat doesn't seem like a big deal. But it was important to her to have the cat well taken care of. And it felt good to be able to do that. Even though we barely saw her. Little things like that (and the coffee subscription) matter to me way more than big displays (here's a down payment on a house now have a baby) and they're what I can do anyway.
Ultimately it goes back to doing everything you can reasonably do from the perch that best suits you. She'll continue making her decisions for how to live her best life and I'll do likewise. A big and not so bad reality of life and getting older, be it at 20 or (soon to be) 49.
Wow could relate to this as well. I lived in SF for 13 years , loved it for about ten years and honestly couldn't wait to leave after that (fried on the big city even then:) I got to work in some amazing ad agencies I wouldn't have been able to otherwise but once I did that and got those years of experience under my belt the city didn't hold much for me and I craved a simpler life with not so much congestion. I'm glad you found it better when you visited, when I was there last year I thought it was pretty rough in SF. Still have the great restaurants that keep people coming back, but honestly other than that and some friends still there I have zero desire to return to SF.
Great article, Rocco. You never know; maybe your daughter would consider moving overseas after you establish for a while.
My kids loved living in Japan. If we moved back, they would gladly shed American life for Japan.
Here in Spain, shopping for a future. We drank beers with tapas for 2.70 euros last night while watching our kids play with other children in town center until midnight. Quite normal and healthy here. A truly human centric lifestyle vs a corporate friendly lifestyle. Ease of living must also come with purpose. American purpose is driven by survival. Spanish purpose is eroded by lack therof. Heaven forbid we have the grace of money and time to truly develop our interests.
I love this. Which city are you in?
Alicante area
¡Disfruta! Cuéntanos más cuando puedas.
I don't have kids. But I did move away from my parents when I turned 18. There were many times we couldn't visit back and forth. I loved across the country from them for most of our lives. But we did things that made up for it. For years my dad made sure I had boxes of Florida ruby red grapefruit sent during high citrus season. I sent them boxes of Ethyl M chocolates (the one's that had liquor inside), and of course we sent packages and cards back and forth several times a year. They came to visit when they could and I tried to do the same. We also kept in touch by snail mail and telephone.
I know it's tough to leave family behind. You all have (hopefully) long lives ahead of you and you never know what the future holds. I liked this piece a lot. I'm sick about Los Angeles now, though... but happy San Fransisco still has a shred of decency left. What a mess.
It really is a mess. And nothing is being done. The walk along the main drag nearest our apartment is simply disgusting. And every main drag from through and beyond Hollywood. If you head south instead, it's generally "nice" unless you go too far south. Yes, mess is a good way to describe it.
Al menos, in San Francisco, the streets feel generally inviting.
I hope to find out soon. (San Fransisco, not Los Angeles, I want to remember how LA used to be when I spent my Las Vegas year going on my two days off, I loved the vibes back then.) On the other hand I can't wait to get back to San Fransisco to get my feel-good back. (Pronto)