My quick answers, in order: Absolutely not. No. If you are, then I do as well.
As to why we (GenX) don;t talk about it a lot? I think alot of that is driven by the idea that in our minds many of us still see ourselves as younger than we really are. As an anecdotal example, I work with people born after I was hired, but in my mind, I'm still that kid in his 20s who first walked through the doors.
Another part of that is that many of us are --or soon will be-- empty nesters, which means a move away from being "mom" or "dad," and back to being "Kevin" or "Rocco."
I hope this makes more sense than I think it does!
I'm older than you by quite a bit. The emotional day-to-day stuff was like a roller coaster back then. It was weird. So much was changing (aging parents, middle age health weirdness accelerates around that time - especially in women; kids I can't speak about, and the dawn of understanding that holy cow "I'd better get my shit together" phase) that it's all one can do to tackle the day to day... if you try and look at the overall picture it can be a bit daunting. I don't think most can or want to handle thinking about it.
I am with you on this is an interesting and challenging chapter in life to manage.
My wife and I are just had a few years ahead of you and Melise in the age stakes. Nonetheless, we look around and see my wife’s mum getting quite old and need some help and we see others in our circle of friends struggling with the demands placed on them by their elderly parents.
At the same time we’re still helping our kids. Our eldest has just moved out of the house. He has his own apartment nearer the city. That step needed the Bank of Mum and Dad to commit to be in the subsidy business for about another year. Not ideal, but as we look at what we think we need to do to help our son stand on his own two feet, we can see that him having that apartment with us still around and not travelling as we intend to do from the middle of next year, will make that transition to standing on his own feet far easier and less nervy for him.
So we are indeed balancing those things: looking ahead of us to our parents and still looking behind the kids as we plot like you do to have more time for ourselves from next year.
Add to what you have said that 50% of the population (the female half) are going through menopause with all its wild and wonderful effects and we don't talk about that either!
Not alone (have all these same feels at 50), not crazy (science!), and definitely not overthinking… let’s think and talk about it MORE!
I spend most of my working hours coaching other mid-lifers around and through exactly these questions and observations; there’s something very real too, as @kevinalexander and I were chatting about in his restack of your post, about the particular challenges for the aging GenXer. As you wrote, every generation has its own inherent and inherited issues, but we’re particularly ill served by our forced independence.
Am I alone?
Am I crazy?
Do I think too much?
----------------
My quick answers, in order: Absolutely not. No. If you are, then I do as well.
As to why we (GenX) don;t talk about it a lot? I think alot of that is driven by the idea that in our minds many of us still see ourselves as younger than we really are. As an anecdotal example, I work with people born after I was hired, but in my mind, I'm still that kid in his 20s who first walked through the doors.
Another part of that is that many of us are --or soon will be-- empty nesters, which means a move away from being "mom" or "dad," and back to being "Kevin" or "Rocco."
I hope this makes more sense than I think it does!
I'm older than you by quite a bit. The emotional day-to-day stuff was like a roller coaster back then. It was weird. So much was changing (aging parents, middle age health weirdness accelerates around that time - especially in women; kids I can't speak about, and the dawn of understanding that holy cow "I'd better get my shit together" phase) that it's all one can do to tackle the day to day... if you try and look at the overall picture it can be a bit daunting. I don't think most can or want to handle thinking about it.
Journaling helped me a lot.
I am with you on this is an interesting and challenging chapter in life to manage.
My wife and I are just had a few years ahead of you and Melise in the age stakes. Nonetheless, we look around and see my wife’s mum getting quite old and need some help and we see others in our circle of friends struggling with the demands placed on them by their elderly parents.
At the same time we’re still helping our kids. Our eldest has just moved out of the house. He has his own apartment nearer the city. That step needed the Bank of Mum and Dad to commit to be in the subsidy business for about another year. Not ideal, but as we look at what we think we need to do to help our son stand on his own two feet, we can see that him having that apartment with us still around and not travelling as we intend to do from the middle of next year, will make that transition to standing on his own feet far easier and less nervy for him.
So we are indeed balancing those things: looking ahead of us to our parents and still looking behind the kids as we plot like you do to have more time for ourselves from next year.
Add to what you have said that 50% of the population (the female half) are going through menopause with all its wild and wonderful effects and we don't talk about that either!
It’s a lot and it hits at 50. I’m 64 now and still confused. BTW need to get your thoughts on emigre life. Planning a move.
Not alone (have all these same feels at 50), not crazy (science!), and definitely not overthinking… let’s think and talk about it MORE!
I spend most of my working hours coaching other mid-lifers around and through exactly these questions and observations; there’s something very real too, as @kevinalexander and I were chatting about in his restack of your post, about the particular challenges for the aging GenXer. As you wrote, every generation has its own inherent and inherited issues, but we’re particularly ill served by our forced independence.
GenXers, unite! We have so much to talk about!!